The Bag Game

I assure you, after you get a load of our family activities you are all going to be DYING to be a part of our holiday gatherings...

So here's the game...

1. Take a paper grocery sack
2. Place it on the floor
3. Everyone has to bend over and pick up the bag with their mouth and WITHOUT touching the floor with their hands or knees.
4. Cut off 1+ inches and then go another round

How low can YOU go?!

Warming up before the game...















Yes, this was the winning piece of bag. That my sister picked up.
With her mouth.
Without touching the ground.
And without putting forth much effort.



The winner and the runner up.
With the size of the original and winning bag pieces for comparison.



You might think that we just came up with a random game, but you'd be wrong. My cousin introduced us to this little gem, and we have played this game just about every year since. And now we have a commemorative trophy to keep track of the winners. Seriously.

I'm Thinking of Changing My Name...

...to Grace.

Why, you ask? Well, allow me to present to you exhibit A:

What is that? Why that would be my left leg.

What happened to it? Well I fell down...clearly not very delicately.

What do you mean, what was I doing when I fell? I was walking attempting to walk across the parking lot. And I wasn't even chewing gum...or talking on the phone...or anything else. I was just walking trying to walk.

Clearly I look like I came out on the wrong end of a fight which I did, only the fight was with the parking lot, so I couldn't stay the way I was. Since I was already at school for the day (and I live about 30 minutes away), I decided it was best to just buy some new clothes at the bookstore (since it's a medical school we have scrubs for sale) and call it good. After all, I didn't want to keep explaining to people that I was just fine and not fatally wounded seriously injured once they saw my leg.

Although I did fess up to my difficulty with the very complicated task of walking mishap in the parking lot throughout the day, since it 1) explained my limp and 2) was funny. I mean really, when was the last time you saw an adult up and fall down? Besides, I go to school with people who are anxious and stressed, and far be it from me to rob them of the chance to laugh at someone else for being stupid laugh a little.

It is really unfortunate that no one was around when I fell - I not only fell down, but I was carrying my purse, my school bag full of my binder and laptop and papers, as well as a large diet coke and a coffee drink. Which all went flying...and everyone knows that once you are sure the person who fell down isn't dead it's totally okay to laugh. Heck, even *I* laughed when it happened!

This is what it looks like now -- although the picture doesn't do the swelling justice...it's like I have a golf ball attached to my knee. Which, as you can imagine, is outrageously attractive!

Or, put another way, it's a good thing I don't wear shorts very often...

Fashion Don't

I am not a fashion expert - I would never claim to be. Believe me, I have had MORE than my fair share of unfashionable moments. 1980s, need I say more?

But every once and a while, I run across someone who makes me look like America's Next Top Model...even when I run across them while wearing work out clothes.

I only got a shot from the back of her stellar interesting outfit choice, but I will provide a description as well...I'm thoughtful like that.

Picture this:
*Candy Red Lipstick
*Earrings that reached the shoulders
*A skin tight t shirt with a nice amount of flab excess skin hanging out showing.
*A denim mini skirt that left very little to the imagination

And the rest of if you can see in the photo.

Heels, LEG WARMERS, and a white fur coat.

AT CHUCK E CHEESE.

Now, doesn't everyone feel better about what they are wearing today? I know I do!

The Story of Saturday - Alternate Title: Feel Free To Laugh At Me

Ok, so maybe it wasn't as bad as I am making it out to be. And in hindsight, it wasn't as bad as it felt at the time.

But at the time it was rather trying.

A snippet:

6:45 am - Garrett wakes up.

7:15 am - Garrett dumps chocolate milk all over the floor. Under the couch. How? I have no idea.

7:30 am - Bennett wakes up.

Breakfast, etc. No major trauma ensues.

8:45 am - I got upstairs to get clothes for the day. Garrett POOPS ON THE FLOOR. Oh yes. ON THE FLOOR. Please imagine how excited I was about this. Then double it. His response as to why? "Just 'cause" My response to that? Large eyes and an excellent display of self restraint as I avoided LOSING MY MIND.

9:30 am - Go for bike ride with bike trailer to lake to feed ducks. Ducks are nowhere to be seen. And the day before, there were literally 50. Where did they go?!

10:00am - See Jacob, Ben and their dad playing in driveway, so ride over to say hello. Where I display my ultimate gracefulness by FALLING OFF THE BIKE. Right onto the driveway. Funny factor? Very high. Pain factor? Also very high. Embarrassment factor? Ditto. Oh yes, it was good times. *It should be noted that I am not just a total moron -- I was wearing shoes that clip into the bike pedals, which I had never worn before, so I fell out because I couldn't get my foot unclipped. And yes, I realize that this really doesn't make me sound like any less of a dork.

10:30 am - Return home, after fighting with Garrett multiple times to keep his helmet on. And then fall off bike again. Oh yes, I did. Not quite as funny. Also? More painful. Am reminded yet again by Garrett that I am "not very good at riding bikes." Thanks, I am well aware.

11:00 am - Garrett poops in his pants. I resist the urge to strangle him, as I don't look very good in orange. Bennett plays broom ball with a plastic onion...this is quite cute, and quells the urge to stab myself in the ear to cease the why questions.

12:00 Lunch. Where everyone is quite cute and well behaved and I wonder if I just dreamed the earlier portion of the day. However the battle wounds present on my arms and legs all tell me that I did not. Bummer.

And then the countdown to naptime wass on. Because seriously? It couldn't come fast enough.