Med School Wednesday -- Sunrise

This month and next I am assigned to do my two surgery rotations.  The way that my scheduled worked out, my specialty rotation is in the burn ICU and happens before my general surgery rotation (which is Trauma, so not really general either).  I will be the first to admit that I haven't been in an ICU for any length of time since I was in nursing school and did a two week ICU rotation.  Ten years ago. 

It's not that much has changed since then -- all the basics are more or less the same.  It's more that I am COMPLETELY out of my element.  Not to mention that I was totally unprepared for an ICU experience when I was planning on a surgery rotation.  Which has led to quite the overwhelming week.  Not to mention that I was completely unprepared for the hours I would be keeping on a regular basis. 

My alarm is set for 4 AM.  And that's mostly because I just can't bear to set it for an hour that starts with 3.  Because...no.  I just can't do it. 

On the up side, the people are lovely and it's mostly a laid back rotation.  Not to mention that I am learning a ton.  You know, when my head isn't spinning. 

And the sunrises are pretty awesome to watch. 

Med School Wednesday -- Psych

When you are in medical school, the list of tasks required is long.  Which, I suspect, is common among lots of different schools.  One of the things required in medical school is rotations through various different areas of medicine.  In November, my rotation was psychiatry.  Which I did at the local VA hospital.

I know.

Now, this is not to say that I am not incredibly thankful to all of the veterans out there for everything that they have done.  Because I am.  But I was somewhat anxious about doing my psychiatry rotation there, as that entire area of medicine has a different flavor than any other. 

I must admit -- my initial guesses at what it would be like were totally and completely wrong.  It was FABULOUS.  Now, this is not to say that I love psych -- while it is interesting, it isn't something that I could see myself doing on a daily basis.  But the people that I worked with were absolutely AMAZING.  They were so kind and helpful and willing to answer questions...the residents and attending that I was with completely and totally made my month on psych a fantastic experience, and I could not be more thankful for that.  I had one other student with me full time during the rotation and that only served to make the experience even better.  It was so nice to have a partner in crime for the month -- not to mention someone who could help give me advice on all of the things left to do for the next year and a half of medical school!

And it doesn't hurt that the view wasn't too bad either...

Scenes From Family Medicine

I mentioned that my October rotation was in family medicine, but I didn't mention that it was in a small town about 45 minutes north of where I live. In addition to not being used to such a long commute (the hospital that I work at is a whopping 2.5 miles from my house), I am not used to being in a small town. I'm from a big city (although technically the suburb portion of the big city) and I live in a well populated suburb of a medium sized city now.

While I'm only driving 45 minutes from where I live, and less than 20 minutes from the city limits, it still feels like I am entering a whole different world sometimes.

And while I am anxiously awaiting the end of the month and an end to the two hours I am spending in the car every day, I just might miss the beautiful scenery I see on my drive every day.

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Family Medicine

When I started medical school, I was not a fan of family medicine. I had no issue with it for run of the mill care, but I had a very difficult time seeing how one person could know enough to manage complicated issues from such a wide variety of patients. Sore throats, physicals and blood pressure? Okay fine. Pregnancy? Sorry, that's not something that I have an easy time accepting. (Disclaimer: everyone is entitled to their own opinions -- if you want to, you can love family practice and let them deliver your babies. It's just not a choice I would make).

In medical school you are required to do rotations in a large number of specialties, and that includes family medicine. And I have spent the month of October doing, you guessed it, family medicine. Which I have to admit has been a different experience than I was expecting.

I expected to hate it.

And, don't get me wrong, there are a lot of things that I am not crazy about. But I also have to admit that I don't hate it like I thought I would. The days are easy, low stress and pass (reasonably) quickly. Lunches are catered almost every day (thank you, pharmaceutical reps!), and there are no nights and no weekends.

I still have no idea what I want to do with my life once I am does with school, but if nothing else, not hating this rotation like I thought that I would is helping me keep an open mind about the different options that are out there to pick from...


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Final

628 days

11 sections

12 midterms

11 finals

12 OCS practicals

52 hours of pathology lab

72 hours of anatomy lab

128 hours of OCS lab

1055 hours of lecture

3000 hours of studying

And this is the last weekend (with any luck) that I will spend studying for a medical school final. The last day of lecture is over, the last lab is done. I still have a lot of studying left to do, both for next week and for boards in June (YIKES!), but when I look at all the other numbers, a little bit longer doesn't seem so bad.

If you would have told me what all of this would be like before I started I never would have run screaming in the other direction never believed you. What a journey.

Whew.

A Little of This, A Little of That

I think that one of my biggest problems with not posting more often is that I don't feel like my day to day life is that exciting. And that if nothing earth shattering happens that it isn't worth a post. But if I subscribe to that theory, I won't have a post more often than every six months.

But I just read Kimberly's most recent post and decided that I rather liked the little snippets. So here's my own version. I'm such a follower. But at least I follow in the footsteps of awesome people. :)

This is what I will be doing for the next six months. Studying for boards. And doing regular school. And working. Because obviously I have a death wish. But seriously...the thought of studying for a test for six months makes me want to throw up just a little. Okay, sometimes a lot.

My sister got me this mug for Christmas, and I find it absolutely hilarious. I laugh every time I see it. And since it makes me laugh, I haven't actually used it yet. I just keep laughing every time I see it in my bag and then I don't want to use it and get it dirty, so I use a different mug. I'm also just a little afraid I'll drop it and break it. And yes, I have heard of that crazy invention that you call dish soap...I've even heard that you could use it to make things that are dirty (like said mug) clean again. Don't ask me why I haven't looked into this further, perhaps by actually using the mug...

I bought myself this little beauty. And I have to admit...I love it. I use it every day. I bought it for two main reasons. The first (and probably largest) was because I wanted one. Hey - at least I can admit it. And second, to study with -- it's small enough that I can fit it in my purse and carry it with me, making board studying able to fill even the smallest snippets of time. Or to use to check my google reader or facebook with...

This is how far I've gotten taking down my Christmas decorations. They are (mostly) boxed up. And stacked in the living room. I just can't bear to take them to store in the garage...okay, or to take down the naked tree. I love Christmas, and I am seriously sad that it's over. I'm not turning on the lights anymore though...I don't want the neighbors to know what a slacker I am...

We have FINALLY gotten our first snow of the year! I don't really like cold weather -- at least not frigid cold weather -- but I LOVE snow. I just think it's so pretty and peaceful. I really don't even mind driving in it, although I don't go out and drive around in it just for fun. But I've never gotten snow days from work, so it isn't like I hide in the house. Okay, so I did stay home from school on Monday and said it was because of the snow. But it was really because I wanted to sleep in and not go to lecture. It's not my fault the people that they had scheduled to lecture weren't any good! Besides, I studied at home, so I think that still counts...right?!

Oh The Guilt...

When you start down the path for medical school, there are lots of things that people tell you.

"You should totally do it! Go to medical school!"

"You have got to be out of your *(&$% mind!"

"Seriously?! Are you nuts?!"

"You can do it!"

People tell you all about the stress and the time and the studying and the feeling of drinking from a fire hose going full blast.

But no one mentioned the guilt. The guilt that you aren't studying enough. The guilt that you aren't doing enough work or that you aren't smart enough and didn't really deserve to be there.

And all the other guilt -- that you are neglecting your friends (you are, although they will understand, at least for a while) and your family (you are, and they might understand, or at least they will pretend to) and your coworkers if you are dumb enough to think that you can still work and the things that need to be done around the house (you are, and your neighbors probably are wondering when your yard turned into a jungle and when you might do something about that).

And I was prepared for the stress. And the studying. And the feeling like my brain would explode if I tried to cram one more little factoid into it.

But I was completely and totally unprepared for the overwhelming guilt.

Dreaming...

...of vacation...






But instead of vacation, I'm spending the weekend studying for my neuroanatomy final. And if you don't think that sounds like a good time...well, you'd be pretty much right about that...

Making Time

After what feels like the blink of an eye, school started again today. And it wasn't any of the 'just review the syllabus on the first day' thing either...it was eight LONG hours. Which, after only a couple of hours of sleep, seemed to last FOREVER.

Of course I should probably mention that the lack of sleep was totally my own doing. And totally worth it. But it still means that it's barely after 8 pm and now I am counting down the minutes until I can hit the sack tonight.

Even though summer was over in the blink of an eye for goodness sake rather abbreviated, when I think back on it I did manage to fill it with quite a bit. There was lots (and LOTS) of working...July ended up being a record breaking month for # of deliveries, and we wrapped up with 361. My coworkers are definitely amazing. I also took a summer elective -- sign language for health care providers -- which turned out to be a great class. I even went on vacation! I just got back and haven't sorted any of my pictures yet, but it was nice to get away for a few days.

And...I have been taking some pictures. I have a few coworkers who had previously asked me to take some pictures of them and their sweet kiddos...and I have to say, I'm pretty pleased with how they have been turning out. These are a few from Joey turning one...I can't believe how much has changed and that its already been a whole year!

Adding It Up

What do you get when you add:

• 32 weeks of lecture

• 620 lectures

• 6 midterms

• 5 anatomy practicals

• 6 section finals

• 1 Cumulative final over then entire year, also known as the test that tried to kill me

• 2100+ hours of studying

• 1700+ hours at work

• 1500 (or less) hours of sleeping

• 1 new puppy

• 1 big move to a new house

• Countless friends

• 259 classmates

• A few stress induced mental breakdowns

One incredible, busy, crazy, frustrating, enlightening, whirlwind FINALLY OVER first year of medical school!

I'm Thinking of Changing My Name...

...to Grace.

Why, you ask? Well, allow me to present to you exhibit A:

What is that? Why that would be my left leg.

What happened to it? Well I fell down...clearly not very delicately.

What do you mean, what was I doing when I fell? I was walking attempting to walk across the parking lot. And I wasn't even chewing gum...or talking on the phone...or anything else. I was just walking trying to walk.

Clearly I look like I came out on the wrong end of a fight which I did, only the fight was with the parking lot, so I couldn't stay the way I was. Since I was already at school for the day (and I live about 30 minutes away), I decided it was best to just buy some new clothes at the bookstore (since it's a medical school we have scrubs for sale) and call it good. After all, I didn't want to keep explaining to people that I was just fine and not fatally wounded seriously injured once they saw my leg.

Although I did fess up to my difficulty with the very complicated task of walking mishap in the parking lot throughout the day, since it 1) explained my limp and 2) was funny. I mean really, when was the last time you saw an adult up and fall down? Besides, I go to school with people who are anxious and stressed, and far be it from me to rob them of the chance to laugh at someone else for being stupid laugh a little.

It is really unfortunate that no one was around when I fell - I not only fell down, but I was carrying my purse, my school bag full of my binder and laptop and papers, as well as a large diet coke and a coffee drink. Which all went flying...and everyone knows that once you are sure the person who fell down isn't dead it's totally okay to laugh. Heck, even *I* laughed when it happened!

This is what it looks like now -- although the picture doesn't do the swelling justice...it's like I have a golf ball attached to my knee. Which, as you can imagine, is outrageously attractive!

Or, put another way, it's a good thing I don't wear shorts very often...

Spring Break!

This week was spring break. I know, I know, it's crazy early in the year still a little chilly for such an event, but I will take a break any way I can get it frigid ass temperatures cold weather or not.

Many of my classmates set off to places that are warm to relax and forget about the hell that is the first year of medical school the stress of school.

I went off to this place:

Why YES, keen observer, that IS a hospital. I spent my break working. And I was excited about having a few days off too, but I ended up spending those at work as well. But don't feel sorry for me -- I was scheduled to have three days off. I am just a total sucker a glutton for punishment, so I spent some extra time in the land of babies.


I even tried not to complain about it. After all, I am awfully lucky to work there, because I have the most AMAZING coworkers. The shifts are sometimes long and the work is sometimes hard, but there isn't a group I would rather spend my time with.

I mean really, who wouldn't want to spend night after night after $%(*&$ night as much quality time with these girls as possible?

Best Shot Monday: Back to the Daily Grind

And it's over...despite the snow, ice and FRIGID temperatures, Christmas break is over and it's time to go back to school...

So answer me this, why does break time always go some much faster than school time?!

Hope everyone's 2010 is off to a fantastic start!

Passing

There are lots of things that pass.

You pass cars on the road that are going to small. You pass the time. You pass the butter, salt, or pepper. You pass from one stage of life to another.

But few things are more gratifying than passing into the second semester of medical school.

Seriously.

*****************

I thought I knew what I was getting into when I went to medical school. I had been a nurse for several years, I knew faculty at the school I was attending, and I knew lots of physicians. Although strangely enough, very few of the physicians who found out I was going to medical school had much more than a concerned look on their face.

I probably should have paid more attention to that.

Not because I am not happy to be where I am -- on the contrary, I am beyond thrilled to be in medical school. And even more thrilled to have survived the first semester. But now I know why they gave that look. It was much less about not being encouraging and much more the look of "Oh my goodness, I remember what it was like...."

I now completely understand the look.

People say that it doesn't take long for those in medicine to being to discourage those who are thinking about that career path. I can see why -- not because they don't think it's a fantastic path, but because medical school is like nothing words can explain.

The volume of information. The constant stress level. The effort it takes to be around people who are stressed to the max day after day. The feeling like you know absolutely nothing. There are no words that can prepare you for that. You know medical school is going to be tough, but you have no idea that it's going to be the way it is.

Some things no one can tell you, you just have to learn on your own.

*****************

Trying Something New

It appears that you can actually blog from your phone...how cool is that?!

It also appears that I am a total dork...

A dork who wore two different shoes today. Oops. :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Yikes!

It appears that my last post was forever SIX weeks ago. Ummm...oops.

I've got no excuses...life is busy, and I think that I have be consumed with trying to keep my head above water. I've even had a light week the last week (no studying -- hooray!!) and I still haven't done anything about all my lovely internet friends.

I realize what I am about to say is going to sound absolutely stupid. But medical school is hard. Like really hard. Seriously.

I knew that it was going to be hard. I heard about all the studying, all the information, all the "drinking from a fire hose" metaphors. And they're all true, 100%. But there is all the parts of medical school that people don't tell you -- the stress, the feeling of drowning in information, what it's like to be surrounded by 257 people who are stressed to the max. And mostly, the isolation.

I am incredibly lucky that, already working in healthcare, I have lots of friends who have already done this whole medical school thing. They went, they studied, and they survived to make it to the other side. Which is nice to see, because, hey! Look! Going to medical school doesn't actually kill everyone! But it's better than that -- it's having friends who actually know what you're talking about when you fuss about school. People who look at you with a pitiful expression and groan and say "Ugh. I KNOW."

And they actually do.

It's a new month. I'm not going to say that I'm going to do NaBloPoMo, because I'm not quite that delusional I am becoming more aware of my limits. But I've marked the thousands of google reader posts as read and I am going to start fresh. So get ready to spill -- while I've been buried in books and powerpoint slides and laboring patients, what has the rest of the world been up to?!

Looking Around

Because I have the attention span of a gnat Because I am highly interested in people watching, I spend a lot of my time at school looking around and watching the people in my class.

I realize that this might sound creepy, but I promise it isn't. Or it isn't supposed to be.

But as I sit and look around at my classmates, it occurs to me that in just a few short years, these people will be physicians. Who are supposed to make decisions. And deal with patients.

And there are a lot of people that I have no trouble picturing in that type of role - caring for patients, meeting with families, making decisions. But then there are the 'other' ones...

Yikes.

There are some people that I simply can't picture walking into a room as a physician. Let alone doing any of that other doctor-type stuff.

And then I realize that in just a few short years someone is going to want me to do that doctor-type stuff.

Double Yikes.

Medical School - 3 Weeks In

It's only been three weeks and we've only had one midterm, but I can say, without a doubt, that I now know what they mean when they say that information in medical school is like trying to drink from a firehose.

Oh. my. word.

The shear VOLUME of information is seriously unbelievable. Everyone said it would be, but really, you never really believe people until you're there yourself. But believe me. It's HUGE.

I think that maybe part of the reason that it's so surprising is simply because I haven't ever really been a studier. I would review material for tests and finals, but that was about it...studying was never a part of my normal school routine. I went to class, I did the work, and that was that.

This is totally different. I feel like I am studying ALL THE TIME. And if I am not studying? Well, I'm thinking about studying. Or I'm reviewing things in my head. All. the. time. The shower, the car, making dinner, trying to fall asleep.

It's only been a few weeks, and I am still trying to find the right routine to get everything done. But I have passed my first section's midterm (thank heavens) and have even managed to all the posts in posts in my google reader catch up in blogland (sort of) and get the number of unread posts in my google reader down below 500. I have even done the dishes and some laundry...I know, I'm on FIRE!

I don't regret going, even when the studying sucks. Because while I am constantly reminded of all the things I don't know....I'm starting to surprise myself with the amount of things that I have been able to learn too...

White Coat

My school has a week of orientation for incoming first year students. Several days of the normal orientation stuff: meet and greets, introductions, expectations, community service and rules, rules, rules.

Then, at the end of the week, is White Coat.

And, at my school, white coat is a BIG DEAL. There are rehearsals and tickets and a huge party afterwards.

It's not complicated, really. It's actually just like it sounds - all the newbies show up, and they get...a white coat. A short one (which signifies a student rather than someone who actually knows what they are doing), but still -- a coat that is white. That people associate with doctors. That people will associate with us as actual medical students.

251 of us, all with white coats. All well on our way.



I have a feeling it's going to be one heck of a ride...