Med School Wednesday -- Sunrise

This month and next I am assigned to do my two surgery rotations.  The way that my scheduled worked out, my specialty rotation is in the burn ICU and happens before my general surgery rotation (which is Trauma, so not really general either).  I will be the first to admit that I haven't been in an ICU for any length of time since I was in nursing school and did a two week ICU rotation.  Ten years ago. 

It's not that much has changed since then -- all the basics are more or less the same.  It's more that I am COMPLETELY out of my element.  Not to mention that I was totally unprepared for an ICU experience when I was planning on a surgery rotation.  Which has led to quite the overwhelming week.  Not to mention that I was completely unprepared for the hours I would be keeping on a regular basis. 

My alarm is set for 4 AM.  And that's mostly because I just can't bear to set it for an hour that starts with 3.  Because...no.  I just can't do it. 

On the up side, the people are lovely and it's mostly a laid back rotation.  Not to mention that I am learning a ton.  You know, when my head isn't spinning. 

And the sunrises are pretty awesome to watch. 

A Lesson In Laundry

I have a lot of clothes, which means that I can go for an eternity quite a while without doing laundry. This is most definitely a good thing, as laundry is not high on my list of enjoyed household tasks.

But I think I might have learned my lesson.



Seriously. From laundry.

I was walking into the laundry room to let the dogs out yesterday, and there was a pile of laundry waiting to go into the washing machine. And, you guessed it, I stepped on one of the laundry items. And went flying.

And later that night got to take a trip to the ED. And walked out like this:



Stylish, don't you think?

*I am hopefully going to be able to lose this stylish accessory on Wednesday after I see the orthopedic surgeon. Who is *hopefully* going to tell me that I am just fine, just a klutz.

A klutz who should keep more on top of her laundry.

Oh The Guilt...

When you start down the path for medical school, there are lots of things that people tell you.

"You should totally do it! Go to medical school!"

"You have got to be out of your *(&$% mind!"

"Seriously?! Are you nuts?!"

"You can do it!"

People tell you all about the stress and the time and the studying and the feeling of drinking from a fire hose going full blast.

But no one mentioned the guilt. The guilt that you aren't studying enough. The guilt that you aren't doing enough work or that you aren't smart enough and didn't really deserve to be there.

And all the other guilt -- that you are neglecting your friends (you are, although they will understand, at least for a while) and your family (you are, and they might understand, or at least they will pretend to) and your coworkers if you are dumb enough to think that you can still work and the things that need to be done around the house (you are, and your neighbors probably are wondering when your yard turned into a jungle and when you might do something about that).

And I was prepared for the stress. And the studying. And the feeling like my brain would explode if I tried to cram one more little factoid into it.

But I was completely and totally unprepared for the overwhelming guilt.

Dreaming...

...of vacation...






But instead of vacation, I'm spending the weekend studying for my neuroanatomy final. And if you don't think that sounds like a good time...well, you'd be pretty much right about that...

Making Time

After what feels like the blink of an eye, school started again today. And it wasn't any of the 'just review the syllabus on the first day' thing either...it was eight LONG hours. Which, after only a couple of hours of sleep, seemed to last FOREVER.

Of course I should probably mention that the lack of sleep was totally my own doing. And totally worth it. But it still means that it's barely after 8 pm and now I am counting down the minutes until I can hit the sack tonight.

Even though summer was over in the blink of an eye for goodness sake rather abbreviated, when I think back on it I did manage to fill it with quite a bit. There was lots (and LOTS) of working...July ended up being a record breaking month for # of deliveries, and we wrapped up with 361. My coworkers are definitely amazing. I also took a summer elective -- sign language for health care providers -- which turned out to be a great class. I even went on vacation! I just got back and haven't sorted any of my pictures yet, but it was nice to get away for a few days.

And...I have been taking some pictures. I have a few coworkers who had previously asked me to take some pictures of them and their sweet kiddos...and I have to say, I'm pretty pleased with how they have been turning out. These are a few from Joey turning one...I can't believe how much has changed and that its already been a whole year!

Adding It Up

What do you get when you add:

• 32 weeks of lecture

• 620 lectures

• 6 midterms

• 5 anatomy practicals

• 6 section finals

• 1 Cumulative final over then entire year, also known as the test that tried to kill me

• 2100+ hours of studying

• 1700+ hours at work

• 1500 (or less) hours of sleeping

• 1 new puppy

• 1 big move to a new house

• Countless friends

• 259 classmates

• A few stress induced mental breakdowns

One incredible, busy, crazy, frustrating, enlightening, whirlwind FINALLY OVER first year of medical school!

Because I Needed Just One More Thing...

That's right, I'm moving. In less than a month. While class is still in session.

Obviously I must have a death wish.

But just in case this doesn't kill me...any one have great tips on moving? I'm all ears!

Spring Break!

This week was spring break. I know, I know, it's crazy early in the year still a little chilly for such an event, but I will take a break any way I can get it frigid ass temperatures cold weather or not.

Many of my classmates set off to places that are warm to relax and forget about the hell that is the first year of medical school the stress of school.

I went off to this place:

Why YES, keen observer, that IS a hospital. I spent my break working. And I was excited about having a few days off too, but I ended up spending those at work as well. But don't feel sorry for me -- I was scheduled to have three days off. I am just a total sucker a glutton for punishment, so I spent some extra time in the land of babies.


I even tried not to complain about it. After all, I am awfully lucky to work there, because I have the most AMAZING coworkers. The shifts are sometimes long and the work is sometimes hard, but there isn't a group I would rather spend my time with.

I mean really, who wouldn't want to spend night after night after $%(*&$ night as much quality time with these girls as possible?

Yikes!

It appears that my last post was forever SIX weeks ago. Ummm...oops.

I've got no excuses...life is busy, and I think that I have be consumed with trying to keep my head above water. I've even had a light week the last week (no studying -- hooray!!) and I still haven't done anything about all my lovely internet friends.

I realize what I am about to say is going to sound absolutely stupid. But medical school is hard. Like really hard. Seriously.

I knew that it was going to be hard. I heard about all the studying, all the information, all the "drinking from a fire hose" metaphors. And they're all true, 100%. But there is all the parts of medical school that people don't tell you -- the stress, the feeling of drowning in information, what it's like to be surrounded by 257 people who are stressed to the max. And mostly, the isolation.

I am incredibly lucky that, already working in healthcare, I have lots of friends who have already done this whole medical school thing. They went, they studied, and they survived to make it to the other side. Which is nice to see, because, hey! Look! Going to medical school doesn't actually kill everyone! But it's better than that -- it's having friends who actually know what you're talking about when you fuss about school. People who look at you with a pitiful expression and groan and say "Ugh. I KNOW."

And they actually do.

It's a new month. I'm not going to say that I'm going to do NaBloPoMo, because I'm not quite that delusional I am becoming more aware of my limits. But I've marked the thousands of google reader posts as read and I am going to start fresh. So get ready to spill -- while I've been buried in books and powerpoint slides and laboring patients, what has the rest of the world been up to?!

Graces

Some of my favorite bloggers frequently do posts entitled Grace in Small Things.

And because I know that things are never really as rotten as they seem, I figure that something similar might be in order...

1. I have had a horrible time getting myself to the gym lately. So I purchased a season of Grey's Anatomy on iTunes, so that I could load episodes to my iPhone and watch them on the treadmill. Why yes, I AM bribing myself to work out! If nothing else, I figured that would at least have me working out for 45 minutes. Perfect! Until yesterday - I went to sync my iPhone with my computer (not an uncommon occurance) and it DIED. Like black screen of death died. But it was nice to have a day that I wasn't constantly getting emails/texts/calls.

2. I couldn't get an appointment at an Apple Store until today. And when I went in, they ended up having to give me a new phone. Which was free - yay warrenty!

3. I couldn't remember exactly where the Apple store was. So I walked around in heels that weren't very comfortable. And that gave me a rather large and ouchy blister on my foot. But I did decide that walking in heels definitely negates me having to go to the gym today.

4. I brought my shiny new phone home from the store...and it still didn't work. So then I had to go BACK to the store and wait for 2.5 hours for them to fix it. By giving me ANOTHER new iPhone. Seriously. But the second time they stayed open for me after they were supposed to close and made sure that the new phone would work. AND...I once again have a working phone.

5. I took the dog and the cat to the vet for their semi-annual appointments. Where I was informed that because the cat has dry skin that I would need to give him a BATH with this special shampoo. THREE TIMES A WEEK. Have I ever mentioned that my cat weighs 20lbs? Or mentioned how well it went learned that cat's don't like water when I gave him a bath a few years ago? But both my pets are healthy. And the visit cost 1/4 of what I expected it to.

6. I made brownies when I got home from my marathon stint at the Apple store. And then I promptly fell right on my behind when I slipped in some cooking spray that must have gotten on the floor. But I have brownies!

Way Behind

I don't think that words "way behind" even do justice to just how far behind I actually am.

Case in point? This is my first post since July 6th -- egads, I don't know how that happened!

It isn't, of course, that I had nothing to write about -- that's never the case, is it? It's simply that life is BUSY...same for me as for everyone else. Work, school, family, friends, life...it all seems to get in the way.

But the low down on what I have been up to is this:
*3 weeks of full time medical school type stuff. Which was overwhelming (but helpful).

*Friends...or rather attempting to make sure that at least a few of them remember who I am. Which, if they do, won't be thanks to any ability to get together on my part. As expected, my schedule sucks.

*Work. People never stop having babies. Which means that I never stop having to go to work. Not that I am complaining (not really anyway) - a secure job is a nice thing to have!

*Life...you know, the really exciting things like dishes, laundry, and grocery shopping. Well, at least dishes and laundry - I actually really do like to go grocery shopping!


I am going to attempt to get some of my hum drum life adventures written down...I'm sure that you all just can't wait to hear about them...

Numbers

No, not the tv show (although I do intend to make time to watch that season finale at some point...I can't believe that I am so far behind on my tv!)

1: patient sent to the ICU. Who was the sickest patient I think I might have ever had. Ick...I hate when that happens. (Although I do secretly love it to...not the sad parts, just the adrenaline rush...I know, it's sick.)

2: Number of nights off I will have before I have to go back to work. Yay!

3: Number of days spent at Disneyworld!!

4: Average number of hours of sleep I have had, daily. For the past week. Conclusion? Probably not enough.

5:55 Time I went to bed this morning. Wake up time? 9:00. Bummer.

9: My stress level, on a scale of 1-10. Number of things I would trade right now for a lower stress level? Zero...I might be busy (and who isn't?!) but I have got to be one of the luckiest people I know.

12: Number of productive hours I am hoping to have today. So far...I've managed to check Facebook. But hey, you have to start somewhere...right?

608: Number of unread posts in my Google Reader. And here I thought I was going to catch up before I was on vacation...ha ha HA!

1,000: Number of pictures taken while I was in Florida. Hopefully I will get them sorted today...it was so fun and I can't wait to show everyone!

Welcome to May

There are things about Winter that I like. I love the snow, I love Christmas. But, by the time Spring gets here, I am ready for the change. For the warmer weather, for things to turn green, for sunny days and blue skies.

And now?

I am ready to say goodbye to April. April is usually the beginning of the real spring weather around here -- short sleeves, light jackets, sometimes even shorts. The sun shines, the sky is blue and the flowers begin to bloom.

But this April? Has been rainy and gray, which actually seems almost fitting, because it has also been filled with sadness. I have spent too much time at funerals, too much time saying goodbye. And I? Am tired.

Grief is exhausting.

So now May? May is a second chance for spring to come. To fill the days with sunshine and blue skies. And hope...May is also full of hope...

I Love My Job...

I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.

Sometimes I need to remind myself of this. Because really? I do love my job. I enjoy pregnant people, I love the adrenaline rush that comes with emergencies, and I really love new people.

But sometimes?

Sometimes it is easy to forget that I love my job. There are too many patients and not enough nurses. There are three patients on the way in and no clean rooms. There are babies that are sick, there are moms that are sick. Patients who aren't compliant, families who just don't understand. Emotions run high for everyone, and stress levels are pushed to the max. There are 4 AM phone calls pleading for help.

The last few weeks have been especially rough. We always seem to be busy. Which, by the way, is another thing I love about my job. Security. Because there are always going to be babies. Yay for job security!

I really do love my job...sometimes I just need a reminder...

Maybe sleep isn't so overrated after all...

My life is busy. But so is everyone else's.

I don't get much sleep. Sometimes it's because I have other things to do and sleep falls on the back burner. And sometimes it's because I am the WORST sleeper ever, and can't get a few hours of shut eye to save my life. Whatever the reason, I try not to complain about it too much. I picked this crazy life of mine, and I do enjoy it.

Yesterday morning when I got off of work (after working five looooong nights in a row) I had a few things for school that I was quite sure HAD to be done before I slept for a few hours. So being the diligent student that I am I sat down with my computer to write a prospectus for a final paper. Most of it was already done, I just needed to add a quick thesis statement and I would be all done.

So I sat down and puttered around, reading various articles and things that I had saved, so that I could make sure I picked a thesis that I could actually support with research. Sounds easy, no? And finally I found the perfect article - it said exactly what I wanted to say, and was going to support my thesis PERFECTLY.

And then I realized that I was reading my own paper.

And shortly after that, I realized that perhaps sleeping BEFORE turning in something that would receive an actual grade might be a better idea.

And I started to think that maybe sleep wasn't quite as overrated as I originally thought...

Theme Thursday - Idle

If I had a moment if idleness, the first place I would spend it is here:

For more idle images, see what everyone else has to share at Stacy's!

Best Shot Monday - Sweet, Sweet Smiles

September is here, and I finally feel like things are starting to settle in to a routine. Not only settle into a routine, but become much more tolerable. And that means I got to spend Friday with the boys and some of our favorite friends. And it was perfect - the weather was gorgeous, and the company was even better.

And the day was filled with sweet, sweet smiles.


















And my Best Shot, my very favorite sweet smiles:

For more great shots, check out what everyone else has to share at Tracey's!

The Perfect Remedy

It has been a long week. I'm not trying to complain, just making the general observation. And since it's been a rather long week, I was a bit of a grouch when I headed home the other day. And then I opened the mail box.

I got the greatest Pay It Forward gift ever from Jen at StickyFeathers!



It should be immediately said that my crummy photo does not do this fantastic gift justice. There was candy! There was a craft book! There was a $20 Target gift card!

This single handedly has convinced me that I can, in fact, survive another day. Have I mentioned that I have a tendancy to be a bit dramatic?

But seriously - thank you Jen, for the wonderful gift. You are too kind, and you couldn't have better timing if you tried!

**********

And because some of you asked, I will show you what I sent to Whimsy as the winner of my Pay It Forward contest. Whimsy, your gift should be there soon, but if you haven't seen it yet then close your eyes!



An outfit (have you see little Miss Alice...she is adorable!)
A reusable Target shopping bag...that folds into itself
A book
Handmade Cards
Post It Notes
A $5 Target gift card


And since I was the winner of the contests held by both Jen and Becky, I will be holding two more Pay It Forward contests in the next few weeks. The next giveaway will start on Monday, July 28th, so mark your calendars!

Send Out A Search Party

Oh, dear internets, how I have missed you. I will be the first to admit that I have been pitifully absent this week. And although I wish that my reason was because I had been off on a cruise like Carrie, I’m afraid that the true reason is much less exciting. And much more time consuming.

School.

Classes started this week and I will be the first to admit that I was woefully naïve when I estimated the time that such an endeavor would take. I figured that I was used to being busy all day, so this wouldn’t be much different.

Get your pens ready and mark this on your calendars, because I am here to say that I was WRONG.

I’m not sure if it is because I am still getting used a new school and graduate level classes, if it is because I have gotten dumber with age, or if the summer heat has simply fried my brain. And it might be a combination of all three. But I am here to tell you that it is most certainly kicking my behind. Not to mention making me completely exhausted. I mean it’s interesting and all that too, but I can hardly think about that because I am so busy being tired.

Although I suspect that the fact that I have been out of town the last three weekends may have something to do with it…