Passing

There are lots of things that pass.

You pass cars on the road that are going to small. You pass the time. You pass the butter, salt, or pepper. You pass from one stage of life to another.

But few things are more gratifying than passing into the second semester of medical school.

Seriously.

*****************

I thought I knew what I was getting into when I went to medical school. I had been a nurse for several years, I knew faculty at the school I was attending, and I knew lots of physicians. Although strangely enough, very few of the physicians who found out I was going to medical school had much more than a concerned look on their face.

I probably should have paid more attention to that.

Not because I am not happy to be where I am -- on the contrary, I am beyond thrilled to be in medical school. And even more thrilled to have survived the first semester. But now I know why they gave that look. It was much less about not being encouraging and much more the look of "Oh my goodness, I remember what it was like...."

I now completely understand the look.

People say that it doesn't take long for those in medicine to being to discourage those who are thinking about that career path. I can see why -- not because they don't think it's a fantastic path, but because medical school is like nothing words can explain.

The volume of information. The constant stress level. The effort it takes to be around people who are stressed to the max day after day. The feeling like you know absolutely nothing. There are no words that can prepare you for that. You know medical school is going to be tough, but you have no idea that it's going to be the way it is.

Some things no one can tell you, you just have to learn on your own.

*****************

In Review: 2008

Like a bazillion other bloggers, I have finished the year in review 2008 meme. Enjoy! And Happy New Year!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Got accepted to graduate school. And medical school. Satisfying stuff.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I kept some of them, but not all of them. Every year I make a whole slew of resolutions, because then I figure I am bound to keep at least some of them. Fear of failure much? Why yes, thanks for asking.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Actually yes. In addition to lots of bloggers expanding their families, I have several other friends who added to their kidlet crew as well. And of course there is that whole work thing, and the seemingly bajillion births that I was present for.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, actually not.

5. What countries did you visit?
I have only been in the grand old USA this year. Unless you count when I went to the Lake of the Ozarks...that could probably be considered it's own country.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A graduate degree. More free time.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day I got my acceptance letter...in May...sometime... Perhaps the date wasn't etched in my mind quite as much as I thought.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Managing to survive. And I am not even kidding.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I would say that there isn't enough time to list these. Mostly that I really didn't keep in good shape. And that I wasn't more patient.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I ran a half marathon and got a body full of sore muscles from that, but no significant injuries.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
50 mm prime lens. And an education.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Um...my classmates'. Without them I most certainly wouldn't have survived the semester.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
This list could go on forever...I am easily appalled.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Tuition.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Photography. School. And dirty martinis.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
I Kissed a Girl by Katie Perry. So What by Pink.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?

Happier. Fatter. And richer. And did I mention happier?

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Being more patient. Working out more.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Complaining. Stressing.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
In St. Louis with my family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I ended the year immensely satisfied with my life. And I am pretty sure that counts for a lot. And my life is full of love. And that counts for a lot too.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Hi, have you met me? I could never pick just one TV program...I LOVE television.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I wouldn't use the word hate. But there were people that I was close to at this time last year that I no longer speak to.

24. What was the best book you read?
Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult. Amazing.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Jason Mraz. Not a new discovery, but a reminder of how much I like his music.

26. What did you want and get?
School acceptance. A new job. Happiness.

27. What did you want and not get?
More time.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I don't watch movies all that often. Although this year I did see Dark Knight, which I loved.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I have to say, this year perhaps broke my history of not so great birthdays. I turned 28, and celebrated with martinis, christmas lights and photo taking. And then decorating, dinner, and wine. And friends.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Ummm...I'm not sure. 2008 was pretty darn satisfying.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Lacking.

32. What kept you sane?
Blogging. With a side of denial.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ummm. No idea. But I found Christian Bale as Batman to be quite yummy. Does that count?

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The election. Was there anything else?

35. Who did you miss?
The person I am when I'm not stressed out.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
My classmates. Some more than others, but as a whole group I have to say, I really lucked out.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
That sometimes it's okay to say no.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year

I've got nothing. I am the worst at song lyrics.

All Rolled Into One

I started a new job last week - one that I LOVE and am enjoying a ton. But one that is taking up significant portions of my time, and is somewhat invading my time for blogging. Full time work, full time graduate school, full time life -- I have *no idea* why I feel like I have no time to get anything done... But never fear, I have combined SOOC Saturday, Project 365, and Best Shot Monday all into one. Hooray!

My SOOC Saturday shots are Sept 6th and Sept 7th.

And my best shot from last week is Sept 12th.

And they all make up my Summary Saturday: Project 365, Week 36.


September 6:




September 7:




September 8:




September 9:




September 10:




September 11:




September 12:




To see some amazing SOOC shots, check out Melody's! And for some amazing best shots from last week, see what everyone has at Tracey's!

Just a Pair of Shoes

Several months ago, I lost my friend. My best friend, really. But lost isn't exactly the right term - it wasn't a matter of location; we are both, in fact, in the very same places. I wish that it was simply a geographic obstacle - that makes it not ours to overcome, but we then become simply victim to circumstances, to things that aren't quite in our control.

We are many things, but I don't know that either of us qualify as victims. In our own ways, and to varying degrees, we each contributed. Everything became broken and twisted - unrecognizable when compared to what we used to be. And so our last act of us, of being so connected and intertwined that words aren't needed, was to walk away.

That was months ago, and I haven't really given things much thought. Which isn't to say that walking away was as easy as changing my socks, it was anything but easy. But it wasn't something that I dwelled on, or really even thought about at all.

Until yesterday.

The person who was crossing the street in front of me had on a pair of shoes. Which is quite common, and really, expected. When you're out on the street, you wear shoes. And in the middle of the street, I realized. Those shoes were the same shoes I had seen every day for years - the shoes that my best friend wore every day.

And I was stunned. In all of my life, I had only seen those shoes on one set of feet. Which, in all honesty, was probably because they are kind of ugly shoes. But ugly or not, they graced the feet of my best friend, and were as familiar to me as breathing - even if the realization of who they belonged to in my mind brought a flood of memories that stopped me dead in my tracks, if only for an instant.

And so in the honor of friendships and memories, this is my best shot from last week.

Sometimes it's just a pair of shoes.
And sometimes it's years worth of memories, packaged up to look like shoes.

For more BSM, see what everyone else has at Tracey's!

Send Out A Search Party

Oh, dear internets, how I have missed you. I will be the first to admit that I have been pitifully absent this week. And although I wish that my reason was because I had been off on a cruise like Carrie, I’m afraid that the true reason is much less exciting. And much more time consuming.

School.

Classes started this week and I will be the first to admit that I was woefully naïve when I estimated the time that such an endeavor would take. I figured that I was used to being busy all day, so this wouldn’t be much different.

Get your pens ready and mark this on your calendars, because I am here to say that I was WRONG.

I’m not sure if it is because I am still getting used a new school and graduate level classes, if it is because I have gotten dumber with age, or if the summer heat has simply fried my brain. And it might be a combination of all three. But I am here to tell you that it is most certainly kicking my behind. Not to mention making me completely exhausted. I mean it’s interesting and all that too, but I can hardly think about that because I am so busy being tired.

Although I suspect that the fact that I have been out of town the last three weekends may have something to do with it…

Losing It

I pride myself on being an organized person. Other words to describe me? Neat, orderly. And some other things, but lets stick to the subject at hand.

So anyway, organization.

I am organized. Everything has a place, and it more or less stays there. When there is clutter around, it makes me all twitchy (is that even a word?) and anxious.

Which is why I have NO explanation what-so-ever for the current state of things. On the table there is: carpet cleaner, four days worth of mail, two glasses, my purse, the coupon file, three diapers, a handheld game, and my gym bag. Ack! Just thinking about it is starting to make me nuts. But not nuts enough to deal with it...yet...I'm a little tired, and not yet motivated to put things away.

In the last few days I feel like I must be losing my mind. Not only is the sight of clutter making me twitch, but I can't seem to remember anything either. Luckily I am attached to my calendar like glue, because if I weren't I would never get anywhere I was supposed to be! I have also, in the last 48 hours, managed to dump both a cup of marinara sauce and an entire glass of red wine onto my cream color carpet. And then I got the pleasure of cleaning the carpets. Good times.

So, dear internets, tell me that it isn't just me....and that everyone begins to lose their mind every once and a while. Right?

Maybe It's the Weather?

I'm not sure what the problem is, but I just feel all out of sorts. Or perhaps a more accurate statement is that I'm not sure which thing is to blame for me being out of sorts.

*I went out of town for Easter. Which was lovely, but travel can suck the life right out of you.

*It snowed on Easter. Which is just wrong.

*My mother is in town.

*The boys were perfect angels yesterday.

I think that really the last one is the one that has me all out of sorts. Mostly because when an entire day goes so well, it makes me somewhat convinced that we should all begin immediate preparations for the world to end. Not that the boys are not good kids, but they are toddlers. But yesterday there was no whining, no fighting, no nothing. They were even perfect angels when we were out and about...to the point that I actually was a little concerned that someone had tried to pull a switch on me.

**Edited to add: yes, the last one was definitely the case. Before 7 am this morning there was copious amounts of whining and tears and unpleasantness. It was good times. Luckily by 8 am things were starting to look up.

Who's your Baby Mama?

Perhaps it is only because my brain cells are dying at an alarming rate due to studying whining alcohol life in general, but I thought that this was one of the funniest previews I have seen in a long time. And, as previously mentioned, I LOVE previews.

It should be noted that some people find my taste in movies is questionable. But what, I ask you, is wrong with the fact that I am currently watching Bring It On? For the umpteenth time. And enjoying it.

We all have our guilty pleasures. Stupid movies just happen to be one of mine. What's wrong with that?

Snow!

We have our first snow of the year -- hooray! Clearly I am a child who never outgrew the love of snow.

Although in this case by 'snow' I really mean a bit of white stuff blowing around in the air. Which unfortunately made my 4 hour drive to my parents significantly longer. Which was a major bummer.

Hope that everyone has safe travels!!

Not a Good Idea

You know what isn't a good idea?

Planning a surprise party in a city that you don't live in over a holiday weekend when you also have finals and med school applications to do AND then volunteering to take someone else's dog to the kennel before you leave town in the morning, after you take your own pets to the vet AND get an oil changed and your headlight fixed.

You know, just in case anyone you know might have thought that any of those things were actually a good idea.

I'm just sayin'...

All Done!

I am officially done with my Christmas shopping. That's right - I'm ALL DONE!

Please, don't hate me because I'm ahead of schedule with my shopping.

If you're going to hate me then it should be because I got almost everything on SALE!

How's your shopping going?!

A testing of patience

It's a good thing that I love my boys, because otherwise I would be inclined to sell one of them to the highest bidder. Or any bidder at all really. Not that I ever really would, but there have been times that the thought has crossed my mind. Two and half can be such a lovely age.

While flipping out about taking the MCAT again, I can't quite seem to bring myself to study. Which is really not going to be very helpful in raising my score. Somehow, I think that actually studying is going to be a very integral part of that. So I had better get crackin'...since the test is in less than two weeks...yikes!

I am officially FINALLY well. I don't even sound like I swallowed a frog anymore! And it only took a month. I ask again, WHO gets a COLD in JULY?! FOR A MONTH?!

I'm leaving for Omaha this afternoon to see friends of mine from high school, which is quite exciting. It will be nice to see them, but a day or two in Omaha is NOT quite what I had in mind the other day when I was whining about wanting a vacation. But oh well - I guess I'll have to take what I can get!